New Year - New You?

Tis the season for re-evaluating life, figuring out what is important and if/how things need to change.

I have just had possibly the busiest December since I stopped working pantomimes. Looking back it is mostly a blur and I now feel worse than I have in months.

To the extent that during December many old symptoms returned like over sensitivities - on one particular day I actually wanted to pull my hair out, so I shaved it off instead. My sleep patterns have become disturbed again, with night sweats, many many dreams and early hours waking. Not to mention some brand new symptoms. So it is definitely time now to rest and try and find my way back to a better place.

It was my birthday yesterday. As a rule I like birthdays, but I don't like having a birthday on January 3rd. The lull after Christmas is never fun, everyone getting back to work, bad weather. So first change, perhaps from now on I should celebrate my birthday in July?

Second change. I enjoy crafting, but I don't enjoy selling. I didn't much enjoy the craft fairs I did in December. I found them stressful to prepare for and to participate in. So perhaps this year all art and craft should be souly for myself. Which leaves me with the slight conundrum of what to do with the stock that didn't sell - but I see many random acts of kindness, abandoning projects in their future, which makes me happy.

I plan to revisit art journalling and give bullet journalling a go.

This time last year I wrote a bucket list, over the course of the year I ticked off kayaking, Segway at Leeds castle and made a start on my epic kickscoot the coast. I think I need to update the list with new ideas but I would like to tick a few more items off the list this year, perhaps rock climbing and snow tubing?

I would also like to get further in my scoot. So far I have covered 111 miles and have got to Bexhill-On-Sea.  The rest of the journey is going to be far slower progress the further away I get but I am very much looking forward to the challenge.

I discovered geocaching last year. I knew about before, but had never given it a try. I am still very much a beginner, but it has taken us as a family to places we wouldn't otherwise have visited and given us more time together and outside having fun. So this year my aim is to do more of this. There is a very social local group so I hope to join them for some get togethers too.

Birthday!

A lot of people don't like birthdays, some pretend they aren't happening, some get utterly miserable at the thought of being another year older. 

I like birthdays. It is proof that I have survived another year which I think is something to celebrate, especially with M.E. 

When every day is a struggle having a birthday is like getting a medal for getting through that year!

Being 30 is really no different from 29. This year I had my party back in November so as not to risk snow & post holiday blues from stopping people coming, I had all of my presents either back with the party or at Christmas, so today there are only a couple of cards to open, but I am happy, I have my family around me and I am a lot healthier than I was last January!

My grandfather turned 94 on Christmas Day. His take on old age is "Don't do it".

I can appreciate this. Getting old often isn't dignified, and for someone as independent and strong willed as him it must be incredibly frustrating.

- Much like having M.E. is at times.

Anyway enough of my chatter - must get back to my noisy children for extra birthday cuddles!

Birthday Bash

I like birthday's, I especially like birthday parties, I think it gives a good excuse to get together with people, especially for someone as unsocial as I am these days.

I had a big party for my 18th (feels like a million years ago), this went well, lots of people came, it was great! I tried to have another for my 21st, still had a good time, but not many people came.
I decided a couple of years ago that I wanted a big party for my 30th.

Then I got hit with this m.e. relapse... and I am more determined than ever not only to have a good party, but to get as many people there as I can.
I see this party as a celebration of life, I am still alive after all!

I can't go out and socialise, I can't go dancing like I used to, I don't see friends, or family as often as I would like, and there are some people who I haven't seen in years, but would love to see again. So to gather everyone in the same room for a few hours would be amazing. I hope to manage a dance or two too.

I suppose I also want to gather all these people so they can see me, meet my kids, my friends, my family. The people I have invited I see on Facebook or twitter or on the school run, they only see that portion of me and it will be nice to bring them all together.

I imagine I will crash after the party and won't be able to move for a few days, but it will be worth it.