Sport Relief

Today is sport relief day which means my kids had to choose a sporting hero to go to school as. 

Now being 6 & 8 and not having an overly sport loving family means they don't know any sports people never mind sports hero's.

Both girls have opted to go to school today as me. This is an interesting decision as I'm not a glowing example of sporting prowess. Well I'm not these days. But once upon a time...

Once upon a time I loved sport.

When I was a kid I would spend my weekends and holidays riding my bike, my skates, playing football, cricket or generally running around the countryside.

I found an intrigue for cricket at a very young age and a love for it as soon as I was old enough to play.

When I started secondary school I was already playing cricket for the Kent juniors.

I think I played 4 seasons for them, I am still very proud to be able to say I played for my county.

In those years I showed lots of promise in training and was excellent in the nets, sadly I never managed to transfer my skills to matches! I think I would have made a great coach.

However two of the other girls I played with through those years went onto have brilliant cricketing careers playing for England and taking them to many victories!

Through my secondary school years I played football, cricket and somewhat reluctantly hockey for the school teams. I found enjoyment in basketball and absolutely loved badminton.

You are probably expecting me to say that my ME made me give up on sport, but actually that isn't the case. Being a teenager made me give up on sport. Discovering a social life, getting a moped and finding life outside of the village. Who knows if I would have gone back to it had I not then fallen ill at 16.

I like to think I would.

As an adult I look back with fond memories as well as sadness that I no longer do any of these sports. It seems rather hard to do sports as an unfit adult. You can go so many things solo, go to the gym, do fitness classes, run and there are various teams for the dedicated, but I'm yet to find anything casual I could pop in and out of when my health allows.

Minimalism with Children

I really appreciate the idea of minimalism. Less stuff to organise, clean, tidy, look after. I have spent the last few years trying to de clutter as best I can with minimal energy and a young family under foot. And I have found that the freer from stuff I have become the more relaxed and calmer I feel. A simple life truly is a better one. In fact this is my second post on this subject find the beginning of this journey here.

But minimalism with 2 small children and a husband who doesn't "get it" is tough. Just 3 weeks ago my girls each had a birthday and this year they had a massive party, 48 guests in total. And of course one of the things they were looking forward to most was all the "stuff" they would get from the party. I've read since about present less parties, which in hindsight would have been a good idea, though then would they have been disappointed? Actually I don't even need to ask that question, I know hands down they would have been seriously disappointed...

Anyway, so that was 3 weeks ago. My kids have never been good at keeping things tidy, have never gotten the hang of putting one thing away before getting the next thing out... So I feel like I have spent the last 3 weeks constantly tidying "stuff" and not being able to get on top of it. Result= one tired stressed very fed up and short fused mum.

So the answer? Well actually I haven't worked that out yet. I did get both girls to go trough their rooms and discard into a box anything they no longer wanted to keep, which worked surprisingly well, though a week after that and both rooms are a mess again with no sign of a tidy future.

We are currently in the process of having a new bathroom fitted and yesterday afternoon as the suite was being unboxed the kids (as usual) were right there begging for the boxes. They love playing with boxes and have been known to spend hours decorating playing and turning them into things. Personally I love this type of play, it involves so much imagination and working together and they are always so excited and so happy (their faces literally light up), I can genuinely say thy enjoy this more than any toy from a shop.

However they don't seem to realise this and every time I visit a shop with them they spend the entire time asking how much certain toys are (if they happen to have a few pennies with them), or the dreaded "can I?" not just once but over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. It reaches the point when I want to abandon the shopping trip and never take them to a shop again!

Yesterday evening over dinner I was talking about their love of boxes and flippantly suggested we replaced 90% of their toys with art/craft supplies and boxes, My youngest (6) looked terrified and genuinely upset, however my eldest (8) looked interested and has requested I provide her with more boxes next weekend so that she can get rid of all of her things. I will believe it when I see it. Generally she is unsure about making big decisions, or even small ones but we will tread gently and see how it goes.

In the past I have found the energy (and the end of my fuse) and packed up most of their toys and put them in the loft and every time this has gone down well, they've been thrilled with having tidy, clear, minimal bedrooms and actually haven't missed the items missing. Perhaps I should try that approach again and see how it goes?

Being an M.E. mum in a busy world.

Life for kids today can be so busy. School, after school clubs, dancing, sports, rainbows, swimming, parties. There seems to be an endless stream of activities that all the kids in my child's class are doing, but not mine.

I have M.E. because of this just getting my kids to and from school 5 days a week at the normal times is a challenge.

I have never sent my girls to dance classes or after school club, and never even considered any of the other options. Simply because I can't commit to being able to get them there and back every week.
I don't drive, I ride an electric tricycle, which has it's limits for distance, but also I would not want to ride it in the dark which in these winter months rules out anything after school.

It breaks my heart when my eldest receives a party invitation for a school night party as I always have to say no. When the invite comes in we talk about it together and I explain why she can't go, then often it is forgotten until the day, when she comes running out of school so excited saying; "Mum it's so and so's party today am I going" and I have to say no all over again.

My eldest is 5 and personally I feel like she gets enough from school. She is generally exhausted after a day at school and I wouldn't dream of sending her out to do additional courses. But because it's what everyone else does it makes me feel like I'm letting her down.

At home my kids watch a lot of tv. I wish they didn't, I wish I could be more active with them and initiate play, but I can't and I often find tv is the only way to instil order. Though it also makes them feel like they have a right to watch it all the time, which is a battle!

At the end of each weekend I often wonder if we have done enough. Other children go back to school Monday with exciting tales of outings, clubs, experiences. I often wonder what mine go back saying... I had a wonderful weekend, I helped to dust the house, washed daddy's car and watched Chitty chitty bang bang for the millionth time...
We do go out occasionally on the weekend, but usually only out of necessity, a trip to the shops or the library.

When school holidays come around I try to have a certain number of activities planned, often art and craft ones. If I enter the holidays with no plans then by the end of the first day both me and the children are tearing our hair out! There has to be a plan, no matter how basic. Sometimes these plans to awry. They can get through every activity planned for the day by 9am, or not show any interest in what I thought was a great idea.

But when you have M.E. Sometimes it doesn't matter how good the plan is, you just can't do it.

Anyway, I'm not entirely sure what I was trying to achieve with this post, other than pointing out the guilt I feel as a parent. Though I do know I should not feel guilty, I do my best for my kids and that is all they need.