I've been wanting to go and see my doctor for a while. I've been putting it off a bit as I have been feeling so unwell and when I have felt up to it she hasn't been available.
Eventually made an appointment with a two week wait. Great, lots of time to prepare. So I make a list of all the symptoms that have been worrying me. Add to the list various supplement trials others I know of with m.e. are on and I'm all set to have my mind set at ease and possibly further investigations done.
Downside of having so much time to plan is the anxiety build up in anticipation of going at all. I don't go out much, and knowing I have to be in a set place at a set time and with it enough to achieve what I set out to achieve is rather daunting.
I've been feeling quite scared lately, scared that perhaps this time I won't get better and that I might get worse.
First thing she does is laugh at my long list and tell me that I should only ever make an appointment to discuss 1 or 2 symptoms.
After looking through my list she says she thinks I've developed "health anxiety", I think this is another way of calling me a hypochondriac. I thought I was being well prepared and informed, apparently not.
She then goes on to say that if anyone (without m.e. diagnosis) came in with my symptoms and they had 2 young children at home, she would say the symptoms were down to life with young children. But I don't see any other mums out there who don't leave the house except to deliver the kids to and from school and even sometimes struggle with that.
I don't see other mums who have to spend all weekend resting instead of enjoying their family and going on outings because otherwise they wouldn't be able to function for the following week.
She did say she wasn't dismissing my symptoms, though at the same time it sounded like that is exactly what she was doing.
She has agreed to send me for blood tests, but said she really didn't expect them to show anything.
I know I have a diagnosis of M.E. given to me 13 years ago, but I have spent 8 of those subsequent years in good health. When both my kids were small I was in good health, still very active, able to work and enjoy my kids.
I don't understand how they can be so relaxed about my symptoms now due to a diagnosis made so many years ago!
Sorry for the rant everyone, but I am feeling so frustrated and let down by the system today.
It's really tricky once you have a ME diagnosis because the symptoms are so broad everything gets lumped in. What I've found useful, if there's been a big change, is to take someone else in with me to back up that it isn't within the normal range of Tired All The Time or overdoing it (they should prepare examples of why they're worried about you too). I find the other person is taken more seriously because doctors aren't so confused about health anxiety. Of course if you're unable to lead a normal life and feel crap all the time some health anxiety is a sanity response!
ReplyDeleteBTW I'm recently diagnosed with PoTS and the cardiologist thought that I've had it 17yrs since glandular fever. It is somewhat treatable. That's a long time to feel crapper because the symptoms are similar to ME!
Wow, yes that is a long time to go undiagnosed!
DeleteThe only person who sees me day to day is my husband and he can't go to appointments with me - also he tends to bury his head in the sand and doesn't like hearing about new symptoms as it makes him stressed!
I can now see my doctors point, I think I'd been stewing through the winter with cold after cold and it had completely worn me down mentally and physically. I seem to be in a more positive headspace at the moment.