Friendships

I have always been one of those people who gets on with everyone, who doesn't stand out from the crowd, doesn't voice opinions and spends a lot of time in my own company - with or without the ME.

Perhaps this is why when I was a teen I liked having my hair various shades of blue and purple. It made me stand out a bit and became something of a conversation starter.

I have always had trouble making friends. Perhaps I come across as odd, I don't know...

When in a group of people I tend to have trouble contributing to conversations, not because I don't have anything to say but because I can't find a way in. I usually try a couple of times and then give up and sit there smiling and nodding. Again this has always been the case with or without the ME.
The ME does make it harder as when I do talk I loose my train of thought easily, forget simple everyday words and muddle my words up, especially when I'm a bit tired.

I had some good friends when I was at school, but once I left at 16 I gradually lost touch with them. We are still in contact thanks to the joys of Facebook, but I wouldn't call them friends in the true sense. In that we don't talk regularly, we don't share our lives - more than just reading what the other is doing, and we can't depend on each other for support when needed.

I suppose though these days it isn't all that clear cut. I have good friends online who I can moan to if I'm a bit down or in need of support. I have friends locally who can help me out if I need something from the shops, or help with the kids.
What I miss is having a friend that comes round often for that cup of tea and a catch up.